A guide to Broadway for a newly unemployed Lauren Boebert

This story originally appeared on Them.Hello, Lauren Boebert! This article is for you and only you, but you know that from the headline. It’s been three years since you got yourself thrown out of a Denver production of Beetlejuice for disruptive behavior, including claims that you vaped inside. Video also showed you and your date were groping each other — though you initially claimed the only thing you were guilty of was singing along too emphatically.Great news for you! Now that you’ve officially lost your campaign for Colorado’s 4th District in the United States House of Representatives — where you moved, in part, to avoid opposition in the state’s 3rd Congressional District — you have all the time in the world to go to all the Broadway and off-Broadway productions you want! It took a while to confirm, but CNN finally projected your loss to Democrat Eileen Laubacher on November 9, just in time for some great theater. Don’t settle for the Denver touring productions, either; come to New York City and see them with all the bells and whistles. There are no more pesky committee meetings for you to attend, and no more advocating against queer and trans rights to do, so your schedule should be totally clear. Hopefully, this time it will be without disruption. Please obey all the posted rules.As a refresher on the legacy you leave behind as you prepare to pack up your D.C. office, you based several of your campaigns on anti-LGBTQ+ hate, invoking arguments like the myth that queer and trans people “groom” children. Notably, you defended your worst anti-LGBTQ+ tweets in the wake of the 2022 Club Q shooting, during which a gunman opened fire on a Colorado Springs queer bar, killing five people. Throughout your time in office, you also advocated for abortion bans, against gender-affirming care for trans youth, and even argued that people shouldn’t be allowed to make “life-altering decisions about their sexuality and identity” until they’re 21, simi