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LGBTQ+ Family Building

The LGBTQ+ Guide to
Adoption in the United States

Adoption is one of the most common ways LGBTQ+ people become parents, and same-sex couples can legally adopt in all 50 states. This is a plain-language walkthrough of the paths, the process, the costs, and how to protect your rights as a parent.

Family Guide Step by Step All 50 States
This guide provides general educational information only. Adoption laws vary by state and change over time. This is not legal advice. For free LGBTQ+ family guidance and legal help, contact Family Equality (familyequality.org) or Lambda Legal (lambdalegal.org).
Start Here

Ways to Adopt

There is no single way to adopt. The right path depends on your goals, timeline, and budget. These are the four main routes LGBTQ+ families take.

Often lowest cost

Foster-to-Adopt

Adopting a child from the U.S. foster care system. There are more than 100,000 children in foster care waiting for permanent families. Costs are low or fully covered, and ongoing adoption assistance is often available. This is the most affordable path.

Agency or independent

Private Domestic Adoption

Adopting a newborn or infant through a licensed adoption agency or, in some states, independently with an adoption attorney. Expectant parents typically choose the adoptive family. Wait times and costs vary widely.

Protects both parents

Second-Parent or Stepparent Adoption

When one partner is already a legal parent (through birth, a prior adoption, or assisted reproduction), the other partner adopts the child to become a legal parent too. This is strongly recommended for LGBTQ+ families. See the note below.

More limited

International Adoption

Adopting a child from another country. This path is harder for LGBTQ+ people: many countries do not permit adoption by openly LGBTQ+ individuals or same-sex couples. Work only with an agency experienced in LGBTQ+ international adoption.

The Legal Landscape

Following the 2015 Obergefell decision, same-sex couples have the legal right to adopt in every U.S. state. One thing to know: after Fulton v. Philadelphia (2021), some states allow faith-based adoption agencies to decline same-sex couples on religious grounds. This does not stop you from adopting, it just means choosing an affirming agency matters. Many wonderful LGBTQ+-friendly agencies exist in every state.

How It Works

The General Adoption Process

Every adoption is a little different, but most follow this general path from start to finalization. Foster-to-adopt and private adoption share most of these steps.

1

Decide Your Path

Choose whether foster-to-adopt, private domestic, or international adoption fits your family. Consider timeline, budget, and whether you are open to an older child, a sibling group, or a child with special needs. Foster care and public agencies often have the shortest path to a waiting child.

2

Choose an Affirming Agency or Attorney

Select a licensed adoption agency or a family law attorney experienced with LGBTQ+ adoption. Ask directly: how many LGBTQ+ families have you placed with, and are you affirming? A good agency will make you feel welcome from the first call. This is the most important choice you will make.

3

Application and Orientation

Complete the agency application and attend an orientation or informational training. For foster-to-adopt, you will usually take a pre-service training course (often called PRIDE or MAPP) that prepares you for parenting a child who has experienced the child welfare system.

4

Complete Your Home Study

A licensed social worker reviews your readiness to parent. Expect background and child-abuse-registry checks, a home safety visit, financial and medical information, personal references, and interviews. It sounds intense, but it is a supportive process, not a test to fail. The finished home study is required for every type of adoption.

5

Matching and Placement

You are matched with a child. In private infant adoption, expectant parents often review family profiles and choose you. In foster-to-adopt, a caseworker identifies a child whose needs fit your home. When everyone agrees, the child is placed in your home.

6

Post-Placement Supervision

Before finalization, a social worker visits your home a few times over several months to confirm the child is thriving. This supervision period is normal and is usually the last major step before you go to court.

7

Interstate Approval (ICPC), If Applicable

If the child is born or placed in a different state from where you live, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) must approve the placement before you can bring the child home across state lines. Your agency handles the paperwork; it usually adds a short waiting period.

8

Finalization in Court

A judge reviews the case and signs the final adoption decree. This is the day you legally become the child's parent. Finalization hearings are typically brief and joyful. You will receive a certified adoption decree, the court order that makes you a legal parent everywhere.

9

After Finalization

Request an amended birth certificate naming you as parent, apply for a Social Security number if needed, and update health insurance, benefits, and estate documents (a will and guardianship designation). Keep certified copies of the adoption decree in a safe place.

The Most Important Legal Tip for LGBTQ+ Parents

If you become parents through birth or assisted reproduction, complete a second-parent or confirmatory adoption for the non-biological parent, even if you are married and even if both names are already on the birth certificate. A court adoption decree must be honored in every U.S. state and by other countries under the Constitution's Full Faith and Credit Clause. A birth certificate is an administrative document that some states have tried to challenge. The court order is the single strongest protection for your parental rights if you travel, move, separate, or one parent dies.

What It Costs

Costs and Financial Help

Cost varies enormously by path. Adoption is often more affordable than people expect, especially through foster care, and meaningful financial help is available.

Foster-to-Adopt

Little to no cost

Adopting from foster care is usually free or nearly free, and many children qualify for ongoing monthly adoption assistance and Medicaid coverage until adulthood.

Private Domestic

Varies widely

Agency and independent newborn adoption commonly ranges from about $20,000 to $50,000 or more, covering agency fees, legal fees, and birth-parent expenses where allowed.

Federal Adoption Tax Credit

Available every year

A federal adoption tax credit helps offset qualified adoption expenses. The amount adjusts annually and some of it is now refundable. Check current figures and rules at IRS.gov.

Other Help

Subsidies and benefits

Many employers offer adoption benefits, the military reimburses some adoption costs, and foster adoptions may include state subsidies. NACAC (nacac.org) explains adoption assistance in detail.

By State

Check the Laws in Your State

Adoption is legal for LGBTQ+ people everywhere, but agency rules and second-parent adoption availability differ by state, and the law changes. These maintained, authoritative resources show the current picture where you live.

QueerLine Legal Map

See LGBTQ+ legal protections in your state, including adoption and parental rights, at a glance.

MAP Foster & Adoption Laws

The Movement Advancement Project keeps a live, state-by-state map of foster and adoption laws.

Family Equality State Guides

State snapshots and guidance built specifically for LGBTQ+ families building through adoption.
Trusted Help

Where to Get Started and Get Help

These national organizations offer free, reliable information and support. You do not have to figure this out alone.

Family Equality

The leading LGBTQ+ family organization. Guides on adoption, foster care, surrogacy, and legal protections built for our community.

familyequality.org

AdoptUSKids

Free national help getting started with foster care and adoption. Specialists are available Monday to Friday, 9am to 8pm ET.

888-200-4005
adoptuskids.org

Human Rights Campaign

Practical adoption and foster care resources for LGBTQ+ parents, including how to evaluate an agency.

hrc.org

Child Welfare Information Gateway

The federal hub (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) for how adoption and foster care work, with state contacts.

childwelfare.gov

Lambda Legal

Free legal help desk and know-your-rights resources for LGBTQ+ parents and families facing discrimination.

lambdalegal.org

NACAC

The North American Council on Adoptable Children explains adoption subsidies and assistance for families adopting from foster care.

nacac.org
Exploring Other Paths to Parenthood?

If you are considering sperm or egg donation, surrogacy, or co-parenting, our Family Building Network connects you with donors, surrogates, and co-parents in an LGBTQ+-affirming space. Adoption is one path. There are several, and all of them can lead to your family.

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