The despair on the USS Abraham Lincoln exposes the deadly fraud of Pete Hegseth’s machismo

When you've survived a suicide attempt, or attempts, as I have, then you know what it feels like for the walls to close in and the dark to feel permanent, and no one hears you or understands you. When hope disappears, and when there seems to be only one solution.It is indescribable. It is real. And to survive carries a whole new meaning.That’s why when someone like me reads the stories coming out of the USS Abraham Lincoln, it slams you like a violent smack to the face. That’s because it’s frighteningly personal. And what makes it worse is that so many of these sailors are young, with their whole lives ahead of them, and with small emotional reserves because they have had limited lived experience.Related: Pete Hegseth wants a testosterone-fueled military. The science doesn’t back the macho fantasy The heavy doom they feel is new, raw, inexplicable. The sense of despair is unfamiliar and overwhelming, and it becomes too much.The Abraham Lincoln has been deployed since November, floating in the Middle East months past its expected May return, with no announced date for its return home. Sailors and their families say the toll of that open-ended limbo is now measured in suicide attempts.One sailor tried to go overboard and is now on medical hold, terrified a "burnt out" moment will cost him a 13-year career and end in a dishonorable discharge.In a separate incident, a watchstander physically pulled a shipmate back from the edge of the flight deck before he went over. A third incident was serious enough that the crew was informed shipwide.Family members describe loved ones who sound exhausted, "down," and worried every time they manage to get a message home. More than 200 relatives showed up in San Diego last week to confront Navy leadership about it.Related: Pete Hegseth’s taxpayer-funded, high-testosterone locker room military fantasy is bulging with hypocrisyNavy officials didn't deny any of it in that meeting. A vice admiral told families the service "hears