Frotting 101: Tips on Technique From People Who Love It

Frotting, dry humping, grinding: whatever you choose to call the act of rubbing two genitals against each other like an eager hand on a genie’s bottle, frotting is quickly becoming one of the most popular bedroom activities among queer people. At a time when our understanding of pleasure outside of penetration continues to expand, many are realizing that frotting is essentially mutual masturbation on steroids. And while it isn’t entirely risk-free, frotting generally carries a lower risk of transmitting STIs than penetrative sex.For those unfamiliar, the term “frotting” became popular in the 1990s, according to sex toy company Lelo. The term is derived from the French word “frotter,” which literally means “to rub,” and its history has always been queer. In fact, Bill Weintraub, a gay rights and AIDS organizer and educator, began raising awareness about frotting in the 1990s as a non-penetrative alternative form of gay sex that still allowed for genital-to-genital contact. Of course, like any form of sexual contact, the risk of spreading STIs like HIV is not eliminated by frotting. On the surface it might seem like one of the more uncomplicated sex acts, but the devil is in the details. Small things can make a massive difference. Whether it’s finding the right rhythm or avoiding skin irritation, it’s not just about pushing two dicks together. Whether you’re working with a cis dick, a T-dick, or a girl dick, here’s our guide to frotting, according to people who know.Make it real wetDon’t take the term “dry humping” literally. To minimize the chances of irritation and make the frotting journey as smooth as possible, apply lube generously. “Silicone-based lube lasts longest and doesn’t get as sticky as water-based. Water-based is fine, and it cleans up easily, but you’ll need to reapply it,” says Jon Prezant, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. “Spit can be hot but dries out fast."In addition to silicone-based lube, you can and sho