We Have Lots of Questions About How Intimacy With the Wicker Himbo Works

Cinema has the power to instill powerful human emotions: We are afraid to go into the water after seeing Jaws, we cry when Rose tells Jack she’ll “never let go,” and, of course, we get horny when we find out that Alexander Skarsgård is going to be playing a hunk made out of woven twigs in the upcoming theatrical film Wicker. And we mean entirely made out of Wicker.Just as soon as the trailer for Wicker hit the internet, people seemed to have the same reaction to its wild premise. For those who are not yet familiar, the film stars Olivia Colman as an unmarried fisherwoman who, tired of the town’s taunts about her spinsterhood, asks a basketmaker played by Peter Dinklage to craft her a husband. (The trailer doesn’t exactly explain if Dinklage has some kind of magical powers that allow him to imbue his creations with sentience.) A month later, Colman marries a brawny man made from wicker, played by Skarsgård.Now, the trailer does not sugarcoat it: the Wicker man — no relation, we think, to the classic 1973 horror movie The Wicker Man — is hot. The trailer makes ample use of a sound effect that makes it sound as if Mr. Basket is flexing his ample pecs and, at one point, the trailer suggests that Olivia is staring at his ample package in bewildered excitement.Given that the trailer itself has made Skarsgård’s sexual appeal so central — the movie’s tagline is also, “A hard man is good to find” — it’s no surprise that the internet has given the makers of the film an ultimatum: If we don’t see Wicker pole, we ride at dawn. “I’m invested in that wicker penis,” RuPaul’s Drag Race star Tatianna wrote on X. “Will it be shown? It’s wicker so why tf not. Show us.”I’m invested in that wicker penis. Will it be shown? It’s wicker so why tf not. Show us.— TATIANNA (@TATIANNANOW) August 3, 2026 “Whole movie’s a flop if we don’t see the wicker penis imo,” another person wrote.whole movie’s a flop if we don’t see the wicke